apoetreflects
The Incognito Lounge
The manager lady of this apartment dwelling has a face like a baseball with glasses and pathetically repeats herself.  The man next door has a dog with a face that talks of stupidity to the night, the swimming pool has an empty, empty face. My neighbor has his underwear on tonight, standing among the parking spaces advising his friend never to show his face around here again. I go everywhere with my eyes closed and two eyeballs painted on my face.  There is a woman across the court with no face at all.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
They’re perfectly visible this evening, about as unobtrusive as a storm of meteors, these questions of happiness plaguing the world. My neighbor has sent his child to Utah to be raised by the relatives of friends. He’s out on the generous lawn again, looking like he’s made out of phosphorus.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
The manager lady has just returned from the nearby graveyard, the last ceremony for a crushed paramedic. All day, news helicopters cruised aloft going whatwhatwhatwhatwhat. She pours me some boiled coffee that tastes like noise, warning me, once and for all, to pack up my troubles in an old kit bag and weep until the stones float away. How will I ever be able to turn from the window and feel love for her?— to see her and stop seeing this neighborhood, the towns of earth, these tables at which the saints sit down to the meal of temptations?
        ✶        ✶        ✶
And so on—nap, soup, window, say a few words into the telephone, smaller and smaller words. Some TV or maybe, I don’t know, a brisk rubber with cards nobody knows how many there are of. Couple of miserable gerbils in a tiny, white cage, hysterical friends rodomontading about goals as if having them liquefied death. Maybe invite the lady with no face over here to explain all these elections: life.  Liberty.  Pursuit.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
Maybe invite the lady with no face over here to read my palm, sit out on the porch here in Arizona while she touches me. Last night, some kind of alarm went off up the street that nobody responded to. Small darling, it rang for you. Everything suffers invisibly, nothing is possible, in your face.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
The center of the world is closed. The Beehive, the 8-Ball, the Yo-You. the Granite and the Lightning and the Melody. Only the Incognito Lounge is open. My neighbor arrives. They have the television on.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
It’s a show about my neighbor in a loneliness, a light, walking the hour when every bed is a mouth. Alleys of dark trash, exhaustion shaped into residences—and what are the dogs so sure of that they shout like citizens driven from their minds in a stadium? In his fist he holds a note in his own handwriting, the same message everyone carries from place to place in the secret night, the one that nobody asks you for when you finally arrive, and the faces turn to you playing the national anthem and go blank, that’s what the show is about, that message.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
I was raised up from tiny childhood in those purple hills, right slam on the brink of language, and I claim it’s just as if you can’t do anything to this moment, that’s how inextinguishable it all is.  Sunset, Arizona, everybody waiting to get arrested, all very much an honor, I assure you. Maybe invite the lady with no face to plead my cause, to get me off the hook or name me one good reason. The air is full of megawatts
And the megawatts are full of silence. She reaches to the radio like St. Theresa.
        ✶        ✶        ✶
Here at the center of the world each wonderful store cherishes in its mind undeflowerable mannequins in a pale, electric light. The parking lot is full, everyone having the same dream of shopping and shopping through an afternoon that changes like a face.
But these shoppers of America— carrying their hearts toward the bluffs of counters like thoughtless purchases, walking home under the sea, standing in a dark house at midnight before the open refrigerator, completely transformed in the light …
        ✶        ✶        ✶
Every bus ride is like this one, in the back the same two uniformed boy scouts de-pantsing a little girl, up front the woman whose mission is to tell the driver over and over to shut up. Maybe you permit yourself to find it beautiful on this bus as it wafts like a dirigible toward suburbia over a continent of saloons, over the robot desert that now turns purple and comes slowly through the dust. This is the moment you’ll seek the words for over the imitation and actual wood of successive tabletops indefatigably, when you watched a baby child catch a bee against the tinted glass and were married to a deep comprehension and terror.
—Denis Johnson,The Incognito Lounge 

The Incognito Lounge

The manager lady of this
apartment dwelling has a face
like a baseball with glasses and pathetically
repeats herself.  The man next door
has a dog with a face that talks
of stupidity to the night, the swimming pool
has an empty, empty face.
My neighbor has his underwear on
tonight, standing among the parking spaces
advising his friend never to show
his face around here again.
I go everywhere with my eyes closed and two
eyeballs painted on my face.  There is a woman
across the court with no face at all.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

They’re perfectly visible this evening,
about as unobtrusive as a storm of meteors,
these questions of happiness
plaguing the world.
My neighbor has sent his child to Utah
to be raised by the relatives of friends.
He’s out on the generous lawn
again, looking like he’s made
out of phosphorus.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

The manager lady has just returned
from the nearby graveyard, the last
ceremony for a crushed paramedic.
All day, news helicopters cruised aloft
going whatwhatwhatwhatwhat.
She pours me some boiled
coffee that tastes like noise,
warning me, once and for all,
to pack up my troubles in an old kit bag
and weep until the stones float away.
How will I ever be able to turn
from the window and feel love for her?—
to see her and stop seeing
this neighborhood, the towns of earth,
these tables at which the saints
sit down to the meal of temptations?

        ✶        ✶        ✶

And so on—nap, soup, window,
say a few words into the telephone,
smaller and smaller words.
Some TV or maybe, I don’t know, a brisk
rubber with cards nobody knows
how many there are of.
Couple of miserable gerbils
in a tiny, white cage, hysterical
friends rodomontading about goals
as if having them liquefied death.
Maybe invite the lady with no face
over here to explain all these elections:
life.  Liberty.  Pursuit.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

Maybe invite the lady with no face
over here to read my palm,
sit out on the porch here in Arizona
while she touches me.
Last night, some kind
of alarm went off up the street
that nobody responded to.
Small darling, it rang for you.
Everything suffers invisibly,
nothing is possible, in your face.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

The center of the world is closed.
The Beehive, the 8-Ball, the Yo-You.
the Granite and the Lightning and the Melody.
Only the Incognito Lounge is open.
My neighbor arrives.
They have the television on.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

It’s a show about
my neighbor in a loneliness, a light,
walking the hour when every bed is a mouth.
Alleys of dark trash, exhaustion
shaped into residences—and what are the dogs
so sure of that they shout like citizens
driven from their minds in a stadium?
In his fist he holds a note
in his own handwriting,
the same message everyone carries
from place to place in the secret night,
the one that nobody asks you for
when you finally arrive, and the faces
turn to you playing the national anthem
and go blank, that’s
what the show is about, that message.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

I was raised up from tiny
childhood in those purple hills,
right slam on the brink of language,
and I claim it’s just as if
you can’t do anything to this moment,
that’s how inextinguishable
it all is.  Sunset,
Arizona, everybody waiting
to get arrested, all very
much an honor, I assure you.
Maybe invite the lady with no face
to plead my cause, to get
me off the hook or name
me one good reason.
The air is full of megawatts

And the megawatts are full of silence.
She reaches to the radio like St. Theresa.

        ✶        ✶        ✶

Here at the center of the world
each wonderful store cherishes
in its mind undeflowerable
mannequins in a pale, electric light.
The parking lot is full,
everyone having the same dream
of shopping and shopping
through an afternoon
that changes like a face.

But these shoppers of America—
carrying their hearts toward the bluffs
of counters like thoughtless purchases,
walking home under the sea,
standing in a dark house at midnight
before the open refrigerator, completely
transformed in the light …

        ✶        ✶        ✶

Every bus ride is like this one,
in the back the same two uniformed boy scouts
de-pantsing a little girl, up front
the woman whose mission is to tell the driver
over and over to shut up.
Maybe you permit yourself to find
it beautiful on this bus as it wafts
like a dirigible toward suburbia
over a continent of saloons,
over the robot desert that now turns
purple and comes slowly through the dust.
This is the moment you’ll seek
the words for over the imitation
and actual wood of successive
tabletops indefatigably,
when you watched a baby child
catch a bee against the tinted glass
and were married to a deep
comprehension and terror.

—Denis Johnson,The Incognito Lounge 

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